How to give yourself insomnia

magnolia bloom | simple pretty

Wow. What a fabulous weather weekend (and no, I did not make it over to the Antiques & Garden Fair). My favorite U10 soccer team started the spring season with two wins, and my teeth were not chattering on the sidelines. Sunday’s game was actually warm and summer-like! But I promised you a story about insomnia, and if you’d like to stay up late, here’s how it’s done:

  1. Watch television. At my house, that would be ESPN. (I’m actually starting to like Sports Center. Go Red Sox!) See an Acura commercial with a catchy tune from your childhood (yeah, I’m old). Misremember that it’s Cheap Trick. Go to iTunes to purchase. Discover that it’s Supertramp. (I think we’ve already established that I’m old.)
  2. Purchase song. Listen a couple of times. Not too much, you don’t want to tire of it, but hey, it’s been a while, and it’s not like Acura plays the whole song.
  3. Run errands; go out to dinner. In brief: enjoy a typical Saturday afternoon/evening.
  4. Husband and son are tired and fall asleep immediately. You stay up and do laundry (there’s a dirty soccer jersey that needs to be clean before morning). That’s okay, you’re not tired yet anyway.
  5. Laundry done, you’re ready to sleep. Not so fast: it’s time to revisit that Supertramp song. “Dreamer” is on a loop in your head and it will not stop.
  6. Trying to shut it down, you get up and read. No go. Reading makes you tired, but once you lie down, Supertramp is there to serenade you.
  7. Grasping at straws, set the iPod to a This American Life podcast and hope for the best.
  8. Finally, sleep.

Do not try this at home.

See you tomorrow.

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